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Elvis’ Opinion on the Valentine Family

(quotes from Elvis and the Dearly Departed)

“Lovie has more lovers than I have fleas.”

“Jack has milk in his refrigerator older than the Declaration of Independence.”

“Ruby Nell’s only human. Actually, she’s more human than most. That woman’s full of juicy secrets.”

“Charlie Valentine is from a different era, a gentleman who would challenge you to meet him at the dueling oaks in order to protect a woman’s virtue.”

…and Cats

“Is that a sorry tomcat I hear yowling on Ruby Nell’s back fence? I’m fixing to create enough ruckus to make him lose at least three of his nine lives.”

“Personally, I could do without the cats. Why ruin the neighborhood?”

…and Love

“A French poodle in heat will believe anything you tell her.”

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